I know the temptation. When you’re ruthlessly going through the house, you want to sneak some toys into the donate bin, some artwork in the trash, and never say a word about it. But if you’re like me, I panic when my girls say, “Mom, have you seen my…..” I’m thinking, “please don’t say the picture I threw away!” While I do believe parents ultimately have the final say, in my experience, it’s better to include your kids in the decisions concerning their personal items. But if you’re thinking that will get you nowhere, you might be surprised! Here are some practical ideas to use with kids while decluttering.
Let them see YOU getting rid of YOUR things.
If your children have clutter, you most likely have things you can get rid of as well! Show them that you are capable of donating or trashing items. You might go through your clothes and say, “I found 3 shirts I don’t wear anymore that I’m going to donate. Let’s look through your closet and see if you have any shirts you would like to donate as well!” Leading by example can make a huge difference.
Get them involved.
Instead of rampaging their room and bagging up all their favorite stuffed animals, let them have a say. For example, I have put all my girls’ stuffed animals in a pile and said something like, “We have a TON of stuffed animals, don’t we? Let’s see if we can donate 5 of them to other kids who would enjoy them!” You might be surprised how generous they are. They just need to be given the opportunity.
Make donation suggestions.
The other day I went through our games. I made a pile to keep and a pile to donate. But before I boxed them up, I showed them to the girls and said, “I went through our games and found some you don’t play with very often that I think we could donate. Do you see any in this pile that you think we need to keep?” There were a couple that my girls decided to keep, but most of them went to the donate box!
Yes, there are instances where you might need to make an executive decision about an item. Maybe it’s something larger, or it’s something you know they are better off without. But if you have built the habit of involving them in most of the decluttering decisions, an occasional “override” won’t be as big of a deal. They will still be upset, but hopefully they will see your reasoning behind it.
In the end, involving your kids in decluttering decisions helps build trust and create good habits. The more you practice this with them, the easier it gets for everyone! I have been working on this with my girls for several years and there are so many times now where they will ask to donate something unprompted! It’s just normal practice for them now.
I encourage you to make it a normal practice in your home to be open-handed with your items and teach your children to do the same! It will keep your home so much more organized and clutter-free.
